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Anand Karaj - Sikh Wedding

Guru Ram Das Ji says on page 788 of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji of the meaning of marriage to a Sikh couple: "They are not said to be husband and wife who merely sit together. Rather they alone are called husband and wife, who have one soul in two bodies." The four laava give the Sikh couple spiritual guidance for their life ahead. The Guru tells of the four spiritual stages of married life and how the couple as a team have to first begin by following the path of righteousness and sinless-ness. Secondly to only have fear of the Lord and remove the ego from within the souls; then to remember and sing the Lord's name with the holy congregation. Finally, the couple will find divine peace; come to accept the Will of the Lord and find unending happiness in the Lord.

Pheres/Lavans
The Four Rounds

The main part of the Anand Karaj is the reading and then the singing of each laav in turn. When the Laav is sung, the couple as a pair joint by a piece of cloth circle the Guru Granth Sahib Ji. This has relevance to the occasion and should not be considered a ritual without meaning. When the couple circle the Guru Granth Sahib Ji each time they making a commitment to God with the Guru as spiritual witness and support. And as one circles the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji you are reminded that the Guru Ji should be the center of your life, from which springs your spiritual guidance and understanding that you require for your souls long journey across this world ocean. The Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji is the center and the Sadh Sangat Ji is your worldly witness and support.

The four nuptial rounds were written by Guru Ram Das Ji for his own wedding. They explain the journey of the souls toward the Almighty. In them he tells us of the duties that a person undertaking a life of marriage should perform. In the first round, the Guru asks the partners to:

• Commit to righteousness
• Renounce sinful actions
• Remember, mediate and embrace Naam
• Only by good fortune, is real peace obtained
• Worship the one Waheguru and all your sins will vanish

In the second round, the Guru asks the partners to advance further towards meeting the True Guru - God:

• Have fear of God and your ego will disappear
• Sing God's praises and feel His presence
• God is everywhere, outside and within, sing in Joy

In the third round, the Guru says that the partners mind is filled with "Divine Love":

• Meeting the Sadh Sangat (Holy Congregation)
• Which is only obtained by good fortune
• Recite Gurbani and sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord
• The Naam will vibrates and resounds within your heart
• and you will know your future destiny.

In the final round, the Guru says that the partners mind become peaceful and they will have found the Lord:

• God's Will seems sweet to these Gurmukhs.
• You will lovingly focus your consciousness on the Lord, day and night
• All your desires will be fulfilled
• The Souls will blend with Waheguru and only Naam will occupy your heart.

Translated into English the Lavari quartet or the Sikh epithalamium would read:

1. By the first nuptial circuiting The Lord sheweth ye His Ordinance for the daily duties of wedded life: The Scriptures are the Word of the Lord, Learn righteousness, through them, And the Lord will free ye from sin. Hold fast to righteousness, Contemplate the Name of the Lord, Fixing it in your memory as the scriptures have prescribed. Devote yourselves to the Perfect and True Guru. And all your sins shall depart. Fortunate are those whose minds Are imbued with the sweetness of His Name, To them happiness comes without effort; The slave Nanak proclaimeth That in the first circling The marriage rite hath begun.
2. By the second nuptial circumambulation Ye are to understand that the Lord Hath caused ye to meet the True Guru, The fear in your hearts has departed; The filth of selfness in your minds is washed away, By having the fear of God and by singing His praises I stand before Him with reverence, The Lord God is the soul of the universe! There is naught that He doth not pervade. Within us and without, there is One God only; In the company of saints Then are heard the songs of rejoicing. The slave Nanak proclaimeth That in the second circling Divine Music is heard.
3. In the third roundabout There is a longing for the Lord And detachment from the world. In the company of the saints, By our great good fortune, We encounter the Lord. The Lord is found in His purity Through His exaltation, Through the singing of His hymns. By great good fortune we have risen. In the company of the saints Wherein is told the story Of the Ineffable Lord. The Holy Name echoes in the heart: Echoes and absorbs us. We repeat the Name of the Lord, Being blessed by a fortunate destiny Written from of old on our foreheads. The slave Nanak proclaimeth That in the third circling The love of God has been awakened in the heart.
4. In the fourth walk around The mind reaches to knowledge of the Divine And God is innerly grasped: Through the Grace of the Guru We have attained with ease to the Lord; The sweetness of the Beloved Pervades us, body and soul. Dear and pleasing is the Lord to us: Night and day our minds are fixed on Him. By exalting the Lord We have attained the Lord: The fruit our hearts desired; The Beloved has finished His work. The soul, the spouse, delighteth in the Beloved's Name. Felicitations fill our minds; The Name rings in our hearts: The Lord God is united with His Holy Bride. The heart of the Bride flowers with His Name. The slave Nanak proclaimeth That in the fourth circling We have found the Eternal Lord. (GG, 773-74)

The actual wedding day is really just one day, but Sikh weddings can last for many days, they are mainly 3-5 days. These include one day being the mendhi, another day being the Sangeet, and another being the Mayian ceremony. The wedding usually begins in the morning with the two sides meeting in a ceremony called "Milni". The word "Milni" literally means 'meeting', and typically involves an exchange of gifts by the father and maternal uncle of the bride and the groom. During the Milni, the family and friends of the bride and groom will assemble in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji. An "Ardas" (prayer) called Asa di Var is read. When the Milni is complete, the parties retire for tea and other refreshments.

The marriage ceremony will then begin with the congregation gathering in front of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji. The male takes his seat in front of the Holy Book and shortly afterwards, the bride will take her place on his left. The person presiding over the proceedings will ascertain that both parties unequivocally agree to the marriage.

He will then ask the bride, groom and their parents/guardians to stand whilst the rest of the congregation remain seated and will then initiate an Ardas seeking the blessings of Waheguru (the great giver of knowledge) and begging Waheguru's grace on the couple. It entails the following passages:

As Gurmukh, I have met Him, with intuitive ease; the Lord seems so sweet to my mind and body.

The Lord seems so sweet; I am pleasing to my God. Night and day, I lovingly focus my consciousness on the Lord.

I have obtained my Lord and Master, the fruit of my mind's desires. The Lord's Name resounds and resonates./p>

Page 774 of the Guru Granth Sahib

This prayer publicly indicates the consent of the couple and their parents to the marriage. When this prayer has been said, the parties sit down as another short hymn is read. The officiant will then give a speech mainly directed at the couple explaining how the Sikh Gurus held marriage in high regard and how they taught that marriage is the highest and most ideal purpose to fuse two souls into a single spiritually inseparable one. High importance is also placed to the equality of the couple as this allows them to achieve the basic aims of life together and attain a deeper spiritual bond.

During the Anand Karaj, the four lavan (hymns composed by Guru Ram Das (the fourth Guru) in the Suhi Raag section of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji) are sung. They condition the love between husband and wife as the love between the human soul and the Almighty. Under these, the bridegroom and the bride vow to be faithful to each other in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji and the congregation. They accept the obligations of marriage by bowing before the Guru Granth Sahib Ji.

During the main ceremony, the end of the cloth which is worn by the bridegroom is placed into the hands of the bride by her father/guardian. The four lavan are read by the person who is performing the marriage ceremony. After the first lavan has been read, the bridegroom will lead the bride around the Guru Granth Sahib whilst ragis (religious musicians) sing the same hymns. They will both sit down after having taken one trip around the Guru Granth Sahib. This step will be repeated until all four lavans have been read.

When the four lavans are complete, the hymn of Anand Sahib is read by the ragis. There is also an ardas, which marks the completion of the ceremony. A Holy "Vaak", which is a random reading of the of a hymn in the Guru Granth Sahib Ji is read out whilst Krah Parsad (Holy food) is distributed to the whole congregation.

Before the ceremony begins, you are to be seated in the gurwara. You are waiting for the groom to enter. -While you are waiting you will be listening to kirtan (the singing of hymns) -When the groom arrives he will be seated in front of the Guru Granth Sahib (holy scripture). -The bride will arrive traditionally escorted by her father and brothers as well as brother-cousins, but it is not uncommon for her to be escorted by her parents and friends. -Now that both the bride and groom are present, the anand karaj will begin. -The priest will address the significance of the union that the couple is about to embark on. -Next, the couple and their parents will rise for Ardas (prayers asking for God's blessing for the union). -Ardas will be followed by the Palaa Ceremony. -The palaa is a shawl that is folded lengthwise and the right end is draped over the groom's shoulder and into his hands. During this ceremony, the bride's father takes the left end of the palaa and places it into the hands of his daughter. The palaa bonds the couple together with the consent of the bride's father. -Next the most important ritual in a Sikh wedding ceremony is the Laavan. The laavan is a series of four prayers that describe the four stages of love and married life. -During each of the four prayers, the groom leads the bride around the Guru Granth Sahib. -The bride is assisted by her brothers or in the absence of brothers, her brother cousins. -After each verse, the couple bows to the Guru Granth Sahib.

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